we were walking in the middle of the street and the sun was going down. it was two days before we were to move off island. i was suddenly struck by the comparison between two days after we arrived on island and two days before we were to leave. three months have passed. the whole summer. it felt like way longer. looking back, it went by fast. it felt like way longer. looking back, it went by slow. crazy.
i wondered aloud about three months from now. i did the math on my fingers and said aloud, “what will two days before the end of december be like? what will have happened? what will we have accomplished? where will we be that day? how will we feel?”
this period of time has been pretty fraught. with more than i can, or wish to, list in this post. in the multiple simultaneously ever-spinning plates of life, there has been more than one wobble, more than one plate off-balance. it has made me wonder, “what, pray tell, is going on?” it all has seemed a bit crazy.
as a person who just wants to bring idea, passion, joy to jobs, i’ve been diving to avoid spinning plates as they seemingly veer off course, as they spin outside the gravity of what actually feels important, as they go haywire, as they head to strike the floor.
“you don’t have to be crazy to work here. we’ll train you.” a familiar hyperbole or idiom of sorts. maybe that means this: we’ll try to waylay you so you never get to the real work. we’ll ask you to make change but will rail against it. we’ll try to undermine or undervalue you. we’ll try to withhold information and still expect you to function. we’ll try to put boxy definition and constraints on the art you are attempting to create. we’ll try to grab the stick under the spinning plate and wreak crazy.
maybe it means that you will endure all these things. you will encounter havoc-wreaking and you will encounter messes. you will find others in the ‘here’ who will stand by you and spot you as you plate-spin. you will find your sisu and you will stand in the integrity of the work you are doing. you will survive, outlasting the crazy. and, you will, in the end, do some good work. crazy good.